Anxiety is a physical and mental response to stress and worry. Anxiety can present physically such as feeling hot, heart palpitations, headaches, stomach pain, lethargy, and even difficulty breathing. Anxiety can present mentally as difficulty concentrating or making decisions, racing thoughts, self-criticism, and second guessing yourself often. I usually define anxiety to my clients as our response to situations we cannot control. Control is a central aspect to anxiety, and worry and rumination is usually a way we try to assert some type of control over the anxiety. Anxiety always spikes when we feel we do not have control over something.

Anxiety can mainly present as avoidance or procrastination, and can also present as perfectionism. People with anxiety may put off tasks because those tasks feel overwhelming and to some people it may seem like the person does not take the task seriously, though they do. Perfectionism can look like being on top of tasks, going above and beyond what is asked, and "having it all together." This is silent or what we refer to as high functioning anxiety, because what usually drives perfectionism is anxiety about being judged or seen as "not good enough."

You should check on your friends or family who may make to do lists often, and seem to get it all done, or people who may tend to isolate to avoid stressful situations. This could be a friend who always cancels plans, or someone who is the CEO of a company working 50+ hours a week. You can help by asking them if they are stressed, or verbalizing what you see that is concerning. Remember to always encourage communication, provide lots of empathy, and make sure they know they are cared for and "enough" no matter what they achieve. Avoid saying you "understand", and make sure you do not minimize or diminish the stress they may communicate to you. Avoid saying things like "that project isn't a big deal", or "don't worry about that."

Contact a therapist if you think you may be experiencing anxiety. They can help you figure out if you are dealing with clinical anxiety, and how to treat your anxiety so you don’t feel so controlled by it.